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Research-based* behaviors and attitudes determine relationship success — not popular aspirations!
Because of a lack of the necessary knowledge and tools to mend their troubled relationships, 40-50% of couples end up divorcing. Most of these divorces are unnecessary, and when the family has children, it ends in a catastrophe for everyone.
When a marriage breaks, it’s rarely because of irreconcilable differences. When a marriage heals, it’s because the couple learned to use the right tools at the right time. The difference is knowledge – practical, applicable knowledge about how relationships actually work.
Psychologists, therapists, clergy, and a range of professionals often endorse the idea that divorce is a solution to marriage problems, and some even proclaim it is beneficial for children. This perspective is like suggesting amputation for a treatable infection – an extreme measure that creates more suffering than healing.
This lack of belief in the marriage advantage and marriage permanency is because lay individuals and professionals do not know the science of marriage. This relationship ignorance leads to unnecessary suffering and injury for many people.
Think of relationship skills like the foundation of a home. When the foundation is weak, cracks appear everywhere. When the foundation is strong, the home withstands even the harshest storms. Marriage skills aren’t optional luxuries – they’re essential tools for building a life together.
Hi, this is professional couple therapist Abe Kass. I’m here to teach you the science of building and maintaining a healthy, respectful, and lasting relationship.
A good marriage isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about building the perfect partnership. When you understand the core principles that make relationships work, you transform conflict into connection and frustration into fulfillment.
Learn more about the 20 Love Connections that are necessary to a healthy, loving, and long-lasting marriage or committed relationship: RELATIONSHIP HEALING TOOLBOX
Rebuild your troubled relationship often without expensive therapy using our proven self-help resources. These practical, science-based* tools allow you to address core relationship issues in the privacy of your own home. With the right knowledge, you can transform conflict into connection and create the lasting love you’ve always wanted.
Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT, is a registered social worker, registered couple and family therapist, award-winning educator, prolific writer, the founder and owner of the Marriage Counseling Self-Help website.
Abe has authored many self-help books, audiobooks, and hundreds of self-help articles in his ever-growing library of relationship resources.
* As you consider my findings, it’s important to understand their foundation. They are based on systematic observations of human behavior gathered over many years in a clinical setting, and they are interpreted through a plausible theoretical framework. While I acknowledge some limitations in the scientific evidence I’ve relied upon, these findings can be regarded as research-based conclusions. However, please note that they have not yet undergone peer review or replication, which are important steps in validating scientific research.
Formulated and reviewed by Perplexity AI as a reasonable statement to make, March 26, 2025