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Healthy Relationship Quiz

Being Assertive is Healthy

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There are three positions a person can take in relation to another person: Being passive, being aggressive, or being assertive.

Being passive means not reacting when things are happening to you or not initiating things on your own behalf.

Being aggressive means trying to force others to comply with what you want.

Being assertive means advocating for yourself in a respectful, considerate, and deliberate way.

Being passive or aggressive are dysfunctional behaviors because they reduce the likelihood of a person getting what they need. When a person often doesn’t get what they need, they can become anxious and depressed.

On the other hand, being assertive greatly increases the likelihood that a person will achieve their goal, whatever that might be, and builds their self-esteem and confidence.

The following are the 3-steps to being Assertive:

1. Know what you want. You may need to consider your options, do some research, or consult with others to help you determine what is the right thing for you. Once you know what it is you want, you can go to the next step.

2. Say what you want. If achieving a goal requires the cooperation of another person you now need to communicate in a respectful way exactly what it is that you want and how they can help you achieve your goal. After you have communicated what you want, you can now go to the next step.

3. Get what you want. This final step is to advocate on behalf of yourself in order to influence others to cooperate. You may need to negotiate, bargain, reason, or even suggest consequences if your goal is not supported.

Behaving assertively will help you in all parts of your life; with your family, with your work, with your career, and with your friendships.

If you want additional help in becoming an assertiveness master, purchase my audiobook, Assertive Behavior — Feel strong, be strong, and get what you want. It is inexpensive, easy to use, and requires only 8-minutes a day.

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