Sometimes, we get into a pattern of making a mental list of what our partner does ‘wrong.’ Doing so creates relationship tension, blinds us to the ‘good’ our partner does, and shapes a negative view with a corresponding negative feeling about our partner. This can be very harmful to your marriage. The remedy is simple. Make a list of all the good things your husband or wife does that is ‘right’ and focus on that.
Catch Your Partner Doing "Something Right"
This exercise will help you establish a new pattern of awareness. It requires you to notice the good, kind, and thoughtful acts that your partner does — that is, you need to ‘catch’ him or her doing something positive or ‘right.’
Each day make a note of something your partner does that helps your relationship. Let your partner know that you appreciate what he or she did. Watch for times when you felt cared about, helped, or understood, and try to identify specific things that led you to feel that way.
Record what you acknowledged and the response of your partner.
You may want to print this exercise for ease of use.
Day 1
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
If you acknowledged the good you noticed your partner doing (you said something positive to your partner about what he or she did), how did he or she respond?
Day 2
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
If you acknowledged the good you noticed your partner doing (you said something positive to your partner about what he or she did), how did he or she respond?
Day 3
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
If you acknowledged the good you noticed your partner doing (you said something positive to your partner about what he or she did), how did he or she respond?
Day 4
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
If you acknowledged the good you noticed your partner doing (you said something positive to your partner about what he or she did), how did he or she respond?
Day 5
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
Day 6
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
Day 7
What positive act did you catch your partner doing?
Day 8
What positive act did you “catch” your partner doing?
