Don’t Make These 9 Second Marriage Problems

Don't let your marriage fail a second time

You were previously married. Now, you have remarried. Perhaps you have entered into a blended family with your children. The idea of a second marriage failing is terrifying! And it should be. Another relationship setback would be crushing. It would hurt not just you but everyone in your family.

Even if you blame your former partner for the relationship breakdown… You will still have fears that it could happen again. And it can!

In the US, the divorce rate for second marriages is 60% compared to 50% for first marriages. Second marriage problems are real! You should have concerns.

Beware of Second Marriage Danger

9 second marriage problems to avoid

  1. Incomplete grieving. When you are in a new relationship, you must be 100% present. Building a family with another person requires determination and effort. If you are still grieving or upset over a past relationship, this will stop you from focusing on the new one.

  2. Holding on to your first marriage or committed relationship. When you start a new committed relationship, you need to let go of the past one. If you try to live in both, your new relationship will suffer and perhaps even fail. Your new partner needs you committed to him or her and no one else.

  3. Ongoing legal disputes. For many couples, the process of attaining a divorce spans years. You need to deal with your lawsuit to protect your rights and entitlements. But you also need to manage it so it doesn’t overwhelm your new relationship. It should not leave your new partner feeling neglected and anxious.

  4. Not treating your new partner as your number one person. Your wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend must rank even higher than your children. Putting your partner first is essential. This is especially true in a blended family. This is good for your children. It will help your new relationship succeed and spare them another divorce.

  5. Repetition of unhealthy relationship patterns from your first marriage. Your bad or sloppy behavior may or may not have caused the divorce of your first marriage. Still, fix those mistakes in your new relationship. It will prevent second marriage problems.

  6. Not maintaining authority over your children. When your children are shared between you and your ex-partner, neither of you has them all the time. Children naturally resist discipline and guidance. Thus, when you, as a part-time parent, discipline your child, you might feel vulnerable. You fear rejection and worry about losing your son or daughter from your life. You may be concerned that if you discipline them, they might not want to come for visitation times. Because of this, you may withhold the guidance and discipline your children need. When children become too powerful and do not cooperate, the family becomes dysfunctional. It may even lead to divorce.

  7. Not building a healthy blended family. Starting a second marriage for you and your children creates a complex family. It also creates a most challenging one. Your children will have a new step-parent and likely step-siblings. You chose to remarry a new person whom you love and trust. Your children had no choice. Your new partner and their children were imposed upon them, for better or for worse. From their point of view, suddenly, they are surrounded by new people. Maybe they have a new home, new school, and new neighborhood. Your new partner lacks the natural authority of a birth parent. They cannot discipline your children. They may come to feel disrespected and helpless, leading to conflict. This can cause major relationship problems. Blended families, especially during the first year, can be very chaotic. Children can exploit the situation. This makes it hard to discipline and guide them. When children assume too much power in the family, the family’s future is bleak.

  8. Ignoring the signs of second marriage problems. A second marriage or committed relationship is like all other relationships. Sometimes they work well, and sometimes they don’t. You cannot fear a second breakup so much that you close your mind to it. Problems then fester, grow, and multiply. You must know the signs of relationship deterioration. These include bickering, staying out late, anger, anxiety, and depression. These indicators often signal the presence of serious relationship problems that need attention.

  9. Not getting professional help. Not getting help from a relationship specialist is a mistake. They must understand second marriage problems and blended families. This is particularly true when attempts to fix family problems on your own have not worked. If you don’t get the help you need, your second relationship may fail. You have tried hard, but that won’t matter.

You are in a second marriage — remember this!

A healthy second marriage requires deep responsibility and commitment. You and your partner must work to understand each other’s needs. You do this by communicating and fostering trust. Putting emotions first and respecting each other can prevent anger and hurt feelings.

Follow the 9 steps above. This will help you avoid pitfalls that cause divorce and ensure a lasting, fulfilling relationship. This is especially true if you are forming a blended family. Blended families are notorious for being difficult and having conflict. Get qualified professional help when needed.

Are you tired of feeling like your marriage is lacking passion and excitement?

Look no further. The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage has all the tips and advice you need. It will help you reignite the fire in your relationship. This book dives deep into common mistakes. These errors can lead to a lackluster marriage. It offers real solutions. They cover building love, having better sex, and making your relationship last.

Imagine having a strong, passionate connection with your partner again. Rediscover the spark that brought you together. Learn how to keep it burning for years. The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage gives you all the tools to build a strong bond with your partner.

Don’t wait any longer. Click here to learn more about The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage! Your happy, passionate future starts today.

8 Rules for a Passionate Marriage by family therapist Abe Kass

The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage


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abe kass

Abe has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and families for twenty-five-plus years. When it comes to relationship expertise — Abe is the real deal and can be trusted!

abe kassProfessional Therapist Abe Kass MA RSW RMFT

Abe has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and families for twenty-five-plus years. When it comes to relationship expertise — Abe is the real deal and can be trusted!