Ingredients for an emotional conversation: Don’t judge or interpret

People have many different ways to communicate with one another. In close relationships, the most vital one is ‘the emotional conversation.’ It is your chance to share your deep feelings with your partner. It lets them get to know you in a meaningful way.

To succeed in emotional conversation, remember two things. First, don’t judge your partner. Second, don’t interpret them.

Not to ‘judge’ means not to evaluate what they’re saying. Don’t judge what you hear as good or bad, right or wrong. Just listen and try to understand.

And the other thing to be careful to avoid is ‘interpreting.’ So, for example, if your wife says I would like you to come home earlier in the evenings. Then we can have dinner together. Don’t interpret her to mean that she doesn’t think that your work is important. Or you may waste money by stopping at a restaurant on the way home, since you were coming home late. Not to interpret means to take things at face value.

If you don’t understand or are curious to learn more, ask a question. In this case, the husband could ask his wife, “Do you want me to come home earlier to have supper together? I’m curious.” Can you explain your thinking behind that to me? Now, she has a chance to explain it to him rather than him having to interpret it and likely getting the wrong idea.

The husband’s “wrong idea” can lead to a misunderstanding and a bad reaction; they could become unnecessarily upset.

If you follow these communication rules, you will have great conversations with your partner. The rules are simple: don’t judge or interpret. Talking about your emotions will enrich your relationship. It will make it healthy, vibrant, and meaningful.

You never have to worry about divorce when you and your partner are close. Emotional conversations are health tonics that prevent relationship breakdown.

Learn more about other communication techniques.

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abe kass

Abe has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and families for twenty-five-plus years. When it comes to relationship expertise — Abe is the real deal and can be trusted!

abe kassProfessional Therapist Abe Kass MA RSW RMFT

Abe has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and families for twenty-five-plus years. When it comes to relationship expertise — Abe is the real deal and can be trusted!