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Free Toxic Relationship Quiz for Couples

Toxic Relationship

Do you continually feel stressed when you are with your partner? You may be in a toxic relationship?

Take the Toxic Relationship Quiz and find out. Get help from an experienced professional.

Toxic Relationship Quiz — should you take it?

Do you and your partner argue and mistrust each other?

Do you and your partner have a difficult time solving relationship problems and challenges?

Are you and your partner disconnected, your relationship is sexless, or do you feel alone?

Are there secrets, lying, or a lack of transparency in your relationship?

Are you and your partner often critical of one another?

If you have children, do you and your partner often argue about the best way to raise them?

Do you or your partner resist supporting one another’s participation in extended family gatherings and relationships?

If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, your relationship may be toxic.

Take the Toxic Relationship Quiz below — no email required, private, immediate results.

After you take the Toxic Relationship Quiz you will have the opportunity to get our FREE 58-page Marriage and Committed Relationship Guide.

  • Completely FREE
  • No email is required
  • Immediate results
  • Private and confidential

Toxic Relationship Quiz Score – what it means to you… and what you should do next

Hi, this is couple therapist Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT.

Let’s review your, Toxic Relationship Quiz Score.

Keeping in mind Your Score, scroll-down until you find the range for your score. Then read what your ‘results’ mean.

10-11 points. There is none to very little toxicity in your relationship. If there is occasional criticism, you need to make sure that it remains limited.

12-23 points. Your relationship has some toxicity within it. You must take action to make sure that this toxicity is reduced. Doing nothing will likely lead to further relationship deterioration.

24-35 points. Your relationship is toxic. Your home has become very unpleasant for you and your partner. You need to confront the relationship problems you have and find realistic and effective solutions to the problems and grievances that are present.

36-and more points. Your relationship has been infected with high levels of toxicity. Immediate and decisive action to reverse what you and your partner are experiencing is necessary. Otherwise, your relationship will likely break down entirely, leading to an emotional divorce or an actual one.

Your situation may become so bad and so chronic that it may not even be possible to recover from it. Both you and your partner need to take emergency action now before it is too late.

Research has shown relationship problems have predictable patterns.*

Each one of the following four dysfunctional relationship patterns describes a level of toxicity within a relationship.

Typically, they occur sequentially with “1. Criticism,” being the first. As the toxicity increases, each one of the prior toxic relationship patterns remains and becomes a stepping-stone for the following one.

Depending on your Toxic Relationship Quiz score, you will have a general idea of how many of the four patterns describes your relationship and what to look out for that indicates your relationship is getting worse.

* This toxic relationship quiz is based on the research of John M Gutman, PhD. See, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work, John M Gutman, PhD, and Nan Silver, Three Rivers Press, New York, 1999, page 27.

They are as follows:

1. Criticism: In this stage, an individual is critical and judgmental of what his or her partner does. For example, a wife is constantly criticizing her husband for coming home late from work, or a husband is continually blaming his wife for spending too much money. Typically, the criticisms span a broad range of topics and activities.

2. Contempt: In this stage, both attack each other personally. Instead of focusing on “bad behaviors,” as in the first stage, it has now regressed to how each sees his or her partner as “flawed” — “you are just a loser, you’re just like your father,” or “you are a crazy and need a good psychiatrist.”

3. Defensiveness: In this stage, personal responsibility is denied and the partner is blamed for all the problems in the relationship or his or her life.

4. Stonewalling: This final stage of a toxic relationship is characterized by withdrawing (ignoring). The individual remains silent or walks out of the room when the partner speaks. In this stage, the husband or wife feels so hopeless that they have given up all efforts to resolve issues by talking with each other.

Our Toxic Relationship Quiz measures these four types of relationship interactions that indicate how toxic a relationship is when the quiz is taken.

Note: Typically, without successful intervention, relationship problems tend to get worse over time. Thus, if this quiz indicates toxicity in your relationship you should seek immediate treatment for your problems.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship in a marriage or committed relationship is when the two individuals don’t support one another.

A toxic relationship is when there is never ending conflict and relationship stress.

A toxic relationship is characterized by one or both partners seeking to undermine the other. There is a lack of cooperation, disrespect, and a feeling of being separate from one another.

It is normal for relationships to have their ups and downs. However, when relationship pain is caused by a pattern of friction and alienation between you and your romantic partner, you might be in a toxic relationship.

When you take our Toxic Relationship Quiz, you can learn the truth — whether or not you are in a toxic relationship, and if yes, you are in a toxic relationship, you will learn how bad it is.

The warning signs of a toxic relationship

A toxic relationship is not a ‘bad relationship’ or an ‘abusive relationship.’ Each type of relationship has its unique characteristics.

Writers who are not specialists and professionals on relationship health often merge all these categories and talk about them as one entity. Sadly, this is very unhelpful as it can lead to bad advice and ineffective treatment which will then make a truly toxic relationship worse.

Toxic behavior exists on a continuum. The toxicity of a relationship can increase or decrease over time. Sometimes the emotional pain from a toxic relationship is intense, and other times it seems to recede to the background. But it is always there, ready to trap you in a cage of emotional pain.

  • Are you unhappy and sad when you are with your partner?
  • Do you often feel anxious and nervous when you are with your partner?
  • Do you feel unsafe and vulnerable when you are around your partner?
  • Do you feel there are more ‘bad days’ than ‘good days’ with your partner?
  • Do you feel you made a mistake in your choice of a life partner?

These feelings are all warning signs of a toxic relationship and that there is something seriously wrong in your marriage or committed relationship. The problem may be that your relationship is toxic.

How does a toxic relationship hurt you?

  • A toxic relationship erodes your self-esteem
  • A toxic relationship will make you depressed
  • A toxic relationship will make you nervous
  • A toxic relationship will remove all happiness from your life
  • A toxic relationship can interfere with your ability to succeed at work
  • A toxic relationship if allowed to go unchecked, will eventually destroy the opportunity to reconcile and rebuild a healthy and happy relationship with your partner

You need to protect your mental health and not live in a toxic relationship. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself. If you don’t do it, no one else will!

Do not accept life in a toxic relationship. Do not think that being in a toxic relationship is normal.

Do you contribute toxicity to your relationship?

It is easy to blame your partner for all the relationship problems!

However, what if you are the cause of the toxic relationship or at least a contributor!

Unless you accept the truth of what is happening between you and your partner, you will never eliminate the toxicity in your relationship.

True, one person in the relationship may engage in more toxic behaviors than the other. Both you and your partner are responsible for your own toxic contributions.

The only way to have healthy relationships in the future is to be honest about your past attitudes and behaviors.

Accepting one’s responsibility for past toxic behavior can be challenging. However, it is also hopeful that once the truth about the toxic behavior has been acknowledged, positive change can begin.

Having integrity — doing what’s right regardless of the situation — is the only way you and your partner can fix your broken and toxic relationship.

Can toxic relationships be fixed?

Absolutely, yes.

Toxic relationships can be fixed — provided both partners want to learn how to relate in a healthier, more respectful, and more positive way.

Don’t listen to other writers on this topic of toxic relationships who promote doom and gloom telling you the only solution is to leave your partner or get divorced!

Most writers are not professionals and since they don’t know how to fix a toxic relationship, they suggest ending the relationship.

These writers tell you to abandon your marriage or committed relationship because they are unaware of how to help you. If you have you have children, divorce puts them at risk for serious emotional injury!

Only listen to writers who are qualified and experienced relationship therapists.

How to fix a toxic relationship.

Your first response is not to give up on your relationship.

There are many useful self-help resources written by qualified relationship specialists that can help partners turn around their toxic relationship and make it healthy. There are books, audio programs, and courses on how to relate to one another in healthy and positive ways. See the books I have written.

There are also many good professional therapists who can help you and your partner learn how to relate in healthy ways with one another. Find a professional therapist at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy or the Canadian Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Divorce and separation are very harmful to everyone in the family. This includes extended family members such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends.

Divorce and separation are particularly harmful to children.

At the same time, you should not continue living in a toxic relationship because this is also harmful to everyone.

The only reasonable option is to fix your toxic relationship and make it a healthy, happy, and loving relationship.

Good relationships are based on scientific principles. When you know what to do and do it, a healthy, loving, respectful, and long-lasting relationship is a natural result.

It does not matter the source or cause for being in a toxic relationship.

What is important is that all toxic behavior and attitude stop.

Sometimes exploring a person’s past traumas and beliefs can help eliminate behaviors and attitudes that contribute to a toxic relationship.

However, in most cases this alone will not stop toxic behavior.

First, you need to find out if you are in a toxic relationship. And if yes, then take concrete, practical steps to improve the day-to-day interactions between you and your partner.

Learn the TRUTH about your relationship.

If you learn you are in a toxic relationship after you take the Toxic Relationship Quiz, then you need to take immediate action before it is too late to fix your broken relationship.

Know, you and your partner CAN change for the better when you want to.

However, you as the reader of this article must start the process of stopping the toxicity in your relationship if it exists, because your partner is likely unaware of the dangers of a toxic relationship.

Act now to save yourself and your loved ones from toxic relationship injuries

Don’t live in a toxic relationship.  

Seize a happy, healthy relationship for yourself, your partner, and your family now. Learn how to fix your broken relationship.

After you take the Toxic Relationship Quiz you will have the opportunity to get our FREE 58-page Marriage and Committed Relationship Guide.

Everyone should have healthy relationships! As the reader of this article, only you can make this happen starting today.

In addition, I understand I will be given a free subscription to {MOMENT OF WISDOM NEWS} email. (You can easily unsubscribe any time you like).

About the author

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a Registered Social Worker, Registered Couple and Family Therapist, Certified Hypnotherapist, and award-winning Educator. He has a busy clinical practice in Toronto, Canada.

After many years of clinical practice and research, Abe realized that quick, practical solutions to common relationship problems were critically needed. He created GoSmartLife Publishing House to fill this need.

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