Marriage Counseling Self-help
Relationship Toolbox

Build a Healthy Relationship with Acts-of-Kindness

Loving and Caring Behaviors

Getting married or being in a committed relationship is voluntary. Staying married or in a committed relationship usually requires that you and your partner see each other as assets in your lives — this simply means you feel good in each other’s company. Behaving with your partner in such a way that he or she feels ‘loved and cared for’ is the best way to achieve a happy marriage or committed relationship. What makes you feel loved and cared for is probably different from what makes your partner feel cared for and loved. After you and your partner complete the exercise, you will have clarified those acts and be able to share them with your partner.

  1. List what your partner has done in the ‘past,’ ‘present’ and what he or she could do in the ‘future’ that has made or will make you feel loved and cared for. Write each entry in the present tense. For example, if in the ‘past’ you cooked together, write it in the present tense: We cook together.
  2. When you are finished listing your loving and caring behaviors, exchange lists.
  3. Reviewing your partners list, complete it by writing what you intend to do in the following weeks to make your partner feel loved and cared for.

You may want to print this exercise for ease of use. Click the Print button below. From there you can also format this exercise into a PDF file or email it to a friend. Note: Printing from a computer works best.

List what your partner has done in the past that made you feel loved and cared for:

List what your partner does now that makes you feel loved and cared for:

List what you would like your partner to do in the future that would make you feel loved and cared for:

Give your partner your list.

Read your partner’s list, write what you intend to do in the next few weeks to make him or her feel loved and cared for.

Keep your partner’s list for future reference.

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